Yes, a series of spoofs of the Bravo Two Zero genre with some other (hopefully) funny stories to keep them company. I am a fan of Andy McNab, the author of Bravo Two Zero and to a lesser extent of Chris Ryan. I served in the British Army and even spent a memorable week with the TA SAS so I’m trained to kill though only at weekends. I think the benchmark was set with Bravo Two Zero but I’d still like to think I’ve contributed something though I’m not sure what and to whom. Bravo Two Zero is an excellent read but it didn’t make me laugh. I’m not guaranteeing anything with mine but surely it’s worth a look?

 

So welcome to this very simple website, the Bravo Two Zero spoofs and other collected rubbish. I created this to show off how badly I can write on sites such as ARRSE (The Unofficial British Army Rumour Service) and a British Army Aviation website where I am a Moderator. I have also contributed to the RGJ (Royal Green Jackets) site with collaboration of their skills, my brass neck and of course my dubious writing ability.

 

Whisky Charlie One – A Bravo Two Zero Alternative is a spoof of the genre and follows our illustrious heroes from the deserts of Iranistan to ‘Bandit Country’ in South Armagh, Northern Ireland. It can be found HERE. The sequel takes our heroes to Bogezuela, South America and can be found HERE while the tribute to the five service personnel killed in a helicopter crash in Iraq can be found HERE. It just has our heroes reflecting on a very sad loss of life. The third outing of the SAS takes our heroes to North Korea and on to the Falklands and can be found HERE The fourth outing has our heroes on home turf and in Ireland and can be found HERE.  A brief seasonal outing can be found HERE and the very latest blockbuster episode involving some European cooperation, as the West’s gas shortages are sorted out can be found HERE.  To supplement the series, I also produced spoof SAS Newsletters which has the SAS using all possible commercial means to supplement their sadly depleted budget. They can be found here:  (1)  (2)  (3)  (4)  (5)  (6)  (7) (8).

 

49 Para which was created for ARRSE was born in this short piece HERE, the regiment made two trips to the Netherlands, assisting in a Dutch train siege incident HERE and the Havelterberg episode telling tales of bravery and stupidity but not necessarily in that order and is found HERE. 49 Para joined Ultimate Farce (Ultimate Force) in an episode showing off Ross Kemp’s shouting skills and while possibly set in South America; it gives a good description of the Surrey countryside and is found HERE.

 

Ever a fan of journalists and them not letting the truth get in the way of a good story, my good friend and alter ego made a couple of trips to the pub but still managed to report on various politicians. The assassination of Tony Blair HERE and the scoop of finding an old exam paper of Peter Hain HERE. Lardbucket McNasty is an accomplished journalist, works for the SCUM and was the winner of the 2005 Wurlitzer Prize.

 

A modern re-working of the age old Cinderella fairy story can be found HERE. And one hundred (and one) years after its original publication, I have a go at and totally ruin The Wind in the Willows HERE.

 

And finally finished, I wrote my way into the world of orcs and trolls and made a limp attempt at spoofing the Lord of the Rings/Hobbit saga HERE. Find out what Tolkien never told you, Bobbits (my equivalents) just love pornography.

 

A page of a few links and my contact email address can be found HERE. Not many links but enough to make the page look less yellow.